Poem: The Statement of a Saintly Murderer

Poem: The Statement of a Saintly Murderer.

Poet:  Sujmaki.

 

I am a Murderer.

On my spiritual path,

I murdered several people.

 

First, I murdered the Thinker.

Then, I murdered the Speaker.

Next, I murdered the twins- Listener and Hearer.

Afterwards, I murdered the seer.

Thereafter, I murdered the desirer.

Next, I murdered the Doer.

At last, I murdered the witch, the Mind

Who was the mother of all the above.

I did not know, she had a brother, the Watcher who witnessed all these.

So, finally I had to murder him too.

 

The Thinker was the eldest son of Mind

and was brought up by Karma, Memory and Experience.

I murdered the Thinker because

He sucked my energy and lived.

He made me restless, tired of thinking,

He was nonsense in thinking,

He was ambitious in thinking,

He was so clever and so creative in thinking,

So thought he so and so.

But he was cunning and lustful.

I murdered him because

He was a Monkey who often

jumped to past and future,

dragged me to the dead past

and imaginary future,

stealing away my lively present.

He was an invisible magician.

He had a magical power-

He became the person or object he thinks.

He made me act their roles

Gradually, I lost my self,

I forgot my real self,

I who was one became many.

I murdered him because

He sowed so many seeds of desire into my heart,

He made me mad after money,

He made me mad after power, lust and all sensual pleasures.

I am just in just murdering the Thinker.

He kept me in his jail for thousands of births.

I am a saint. I have miles to go.

I have to murder him to go ahead.

I am just in just murdering the Thinker.

 

The Speaker is the son of Prana, God of Air.

The gates of his house were made up of lips.

After discussion with the Thinker, as fast as possible,

He often spat out the words of knowledge through these gates.

I killed him because

In anger, like volcano, he burst out fire balls of four- letter words,

That burnt the hearts of many.

I murdered the Speaker because

he used the invisible secret passage inside me

and talked to me privately without the knowledge of others.

he was talkative during my meditation,

and irritated me through his nonstop talk.

He talked to all people whom I met in my past.

He talked to all people whom I would meet in future.

He commanded me to do this, to do that.

He disappeared, I became the accused.

But he is my best friend.

He was with me even when I was alone,

even when everybody left me,

He was with me even in my dream,

I murdered him because

He disturbed my meditation,

He interrupted me when I wanted silence,

I murdered him because

He tempted me like Satan,

He lied and made me lie on the Everest of Sins.

I am just in just murdering the Speaker.

I am a saint. I have to climb up the mountain of Silence.

I promised not to kill him if he would become dumb during meditation.

He refused.

So, I had to murder the Speaker.

I am just in just murdering the Speaker.

 

The twins- Listener and Hearer starved of death

after the death of Thinker and Speaker.

They struggled for life

soon after I banned Sound and Noise from my Inner World.

The Listener studied in the University of Knowledge

but scored not more.

The Hearer, like a good cricketer, caught every ball of sound without fail.

But his gain was in vain.

I murdered them because

They jumped in and stirred my silent heart

into the Great Waves of Ocean.

They only made me the knower and the learner

Still I murdered them because

they trapped and chained me into the Known.

I longed to explore and exhaust the unknown

I murdered them because

they refused to tell me the whereabouts of the map consciousness.

Rather, they made me a chatter box inside.

I am a saint.

I am to explore, expand and dissolve into eternal space

where listener and hearer are the forbidden fruits of knowledge.

Hence I had to murder the Listener and the Hearer.

I am just in just murdering them.

 

I murdered the Seer

because he did not see the truth.

He was anxious to see again all whom I had seen in my past

He was a reckless wanderer roaming along with Memory.

I murdered him because

He made me desire whatever he had seen.

He was seeing the ladies the way he should not see.

My eyes became tired of working for him.

When I closed my eyes for meditation,

he continued to see with the spiritual eye of his mother.

I am a saint.

I want to see the unseen without seeing.

I promised him not to kill if he would remain blind for some time.

He refused.

So I am just in just murdering the Seer.

 

I murdered the Desirer because

he was nurturing his father Karma

who brought me several births

which brought me several woes.

He made me desire for thousand and one things,

thus, to run restlessly in a never ending marathon.

He cheated me in disguise as a dream, ambition, goal, passion, love and aim.

Why should I pursue my dream to make it into reality

while I am naturally surrounded by reality everywhere?

One goal that may or may not end in joy in future,

steals away my whole life with its endless joys at present.

I murdered the Desirer because

He brought so many worries to his mother Mind,

My body was also tired of working for his desires.

I stabbed him first

when I desired to be desireless but he did not die fully.

He died only when I gave up that desire too.

I am a saint.

To kill the desirer means to me to renounce all.

I am just in just murdering the desirer.

 

I murdered the Doer because

he is the invisible time traveler within me,

he dragged me wherever he travelled,

he flied to so many places in no time,

I was dog-tired of travelling with him.

I murdered him because

he made me waste my time on TV and Mobile.

I murdered him because

he arrested me with chains of Habits.

He made me repeat the same sins again and again,

I murdered him because

he dragged me to the Hell of Illusion and Ignorance,

And made me ever engaged, busy, mechanical,

robotic, hypnotized, slavish, and insane.

I am just in just murdering the Doer.

I am a saint.

NON-DOING is meditation that is the path to silence.

The Static State leads to Dynamic State and vice versa – is the law.

I am just in just murdering the Doer.

 

I murdered the Mind

who was now at sick and bedridden

at the loss of her children-

Thinker, Speaker, Listener, Hearer, Seer, Desirer and Doer.

I murdered her because

she is the distance between me and God.

She is the poisonous tree which bore poisonous monsters.

I advised and counseled.

But the more I tried to clean her,

the more she became corrupted –

How can we clean a dirty place with dirty cloth?

I murdered her because

she was hiding the map Consciousness that takes me to the Heaven.

She was the map and only her death could turn her into the map.

Death of Mind means Mukthi.

I am a saint.

I have to attain Mukthi.

Hence I am just in just murdering the Mind to give birth to Consciousness.

 

Space makes peace within

 that was vastly occupied by the monstrous children of Mind

who are dead now.

Crowd and noise that I hate the most

disappeared now.

The Watcher who helped me kill Mind and her children

was also finally murdered by me.

The Watcher rescued me from the Hell of Illusion.

He was the Guardian of the map Consciousness.

He brought me the realizations of truth.

He gifted me Wisdom,

He made the sinner the sage.

He took me to the world of God, Soul and Immortality,

I murdered him in God’s place,

when I was tired of watching,

when I wanted to be silent for ever without being watched by anyone,

when I finished reading the last word in the book of the Unknown,

When I wanted just to be, to exist as silently as existence,

The Time came.

I had to transcend the world of Wakefulness.

Hence I murdered the Watcher too.

I am just in just murdering the Watcher.

 

                                                *********************

I Understand "Nothing"

 

Poetry: I Understand “Nothing”

Poet: Sujmaki

 

There was no answer.

Hence I asked once again:

“Who is there in?”

Nothing was there when I asked this myself.

 

Who am I?

I am the becomer.

I am the watcher.

I am the knower.

I am the thinker.

I am the speaker.

I am the listener.

When I think of a tree,

I become the tree and also watch the same tree.

I am the becomer and the watcher.

When I know, I have become the tree  when I think,

I am the knower and the thinker.

Whatever I the speaker speak, I the knower knows

I am the first listener to my speech.

 

It’s strange but true.

I am the magician who can speak silently –

the voice is clear but nobody can hear.

My mind has invisible mouth.

Otherwise how can it speak?

It speaks silently that even my friend nearby doesn’t hear.

I’m little bit confused-

whether I am speaking to myself or listening to what I speak

Or  are both the speaker and the listener  the same ?

 

I am the magician and I can become anybody.

In no time, I can become the CM, PM,

The sun and the moon, the earth and the fire,

Any bird, any animal, anything in the world.

Yes it is true.

Everyday I’m doing this. Moment to moment I do this.

Just whomsoever, whatsoever I think whensoever,  I become them at once.

 

The distance doesn’t matter.

I can fly to any place faster than sound and light.

The time also doesn’t matter.

I can fly to past and future.

When I am alone, I am lost in thinking

And take a flight to thousand and one places in past and future.

My invisible journey prolongs till somebody in present awakens me.

 

Who are you?

I asked myself once more.

Myself answered myself: I’m nothing.

To be nothing is to be everything.

We buy a pot because there is nothing inside

That nothing lets everything in.

What is there inside the seed?

Nothing that lets the big tree out.

We buy a note because there is nothing

that lets everything  be written.

Where did your great grandfather’s great grand father go?

Into nothingness.

Where will your great grandson’s great grandson go?

Into nothingness.

Where were we before birth?

In nothingness.

Where shall we go after death?

Into nothingness.

Where does this life journey destined to?

Towards nothing.

What is in between two letters, two words, two sentences..

that make them readable and alive?

Nothing.

In fact, my sight into nothing is my insight.

 

Shakespeare told a lie:  nothing will come out of nothing.

In fact, Everything comes out of nothing and goes into nothing.

 

Man becomes God

when Ego is nothing.

Humanity disappears

when Love becomes nothing.

Wisdom arises,

When Ignorance becomes nothing.

Nothing is a womb to bear everything,

An invisible vessel to hold everything.

A divine full stop to all Dramas.

 

Poem: I Don’t Know English

I don’t know English.

I don’t know the English

that the English  call it as English.

 

I know only my English.

The English I speak is my English.

I am Sujmaki, so I speak Sujmaki English.

Americans call their English American English,

Britishers call their English British English,

Indians call their English Indian English.

Why not I call my English Sujmaki English?

 

I love you.

Let me give you a cup of coffee.

Because I love you.

Taste the coffee,

Don’t look at the cup,

Don’t talk about the cup,

Don’t find fault with the cup,

Don’t be lost in talking about the cup.

Taste the coffee that has my soul,

that has my love,

that has my feelings,

that has my experience of life,

that has my character, etc.

English is the cup.

The coffee is me.

Do you love cup?

Not the coffee?

Not ready to accept my love?

Don’t ask me to pronounce correctly.

I will kill you.

Sorry for killing you whom I love.

I am Sujmaki.

What I speak is Sujmaki English.

What I pronounce is Sujmaki pronunciation.

What I follow is Sujmaki grammar.

What I use is Sujmaki vocabulary.

The English I speak is mine.

That expresses only my soul.

Why should my soul wear your dress?

 

I am not a blunderer but a victim.

My parents were poor

financially, more importantly linguistically.

I picked up my English from my parents,

my brother, sister, relatives, neighbours and govt. school teachers

who didn’t know the English that the English spoke.

Sorry for repeating,

I am not a blunderer, but a victim.

I am not the mistaker, but the mistaken.

I am the accused to be excused.

 

The English I speak is the dress of my thought.

Why do you try to discipline me with dress code?

The English I speak is the vehicle of my feelings.

Why do you ask for license and R.C book?

The English I speak is the mirror of my soul.

Why do you try to see your image in my mirror?

My heart wants to speak to your heart.

I will kill your brain if it trespasses our private chamber.

 

There are millions of people, millions of feelings,

millions of experience, millions of characters,

So, let there be millions of English.

Let everybody have their own English.

Let everybody travel in their own vehicle.

Let everybody serve themselves in their own cups.

 

You know, English is Carbon dioxide.

That you don’t know that you know.

My science teacher told,

I breathe out carbon dioxide.

My English teacher told,

I  breathe out sounds to speak my  language.

They speak truth. I too.

English is Carbon dioxide.

And Carbon dioxide is English.

I wonder, why thousands of books

of grammar, phonetics and dictionaries

to regulate the release of Carbon di oxide properly?

You are a plant to me and vice versa.

The English I speak,

The feelings I share,

The love I serve,

is my carbon dioxide

but oxygen to you and vice versa.

 

We are Indians.

We like to dress our feelings with English

but never stress any words,

Not intentionally but innocently.

Don’t stress us to observe stress.

Kindly Observe, it adds stress to our soul.

Sujmaki is an Indian

who cannot speak like American

or a Britisher.

Sujmaki will speak like Sujmaki.

I don’t know the English

that the English know.

Sujmaki knows only Sujmaki English,

just as you know your English.