Poem: The Statement of a Saintly Murderer.
Poet:
Sujmaki.
I
am a Murderer.
On
my spiritual path,
I
murdered several people.
First,
I murdered the Thinker.
Then,
I murdered the Speaker.
Next,
I murdered the twins- Listener and Hearer.
Afterwards,
I murdered the seer.
Thereafter,
I murdered the desirer.
Next,
I murdered the Doer.
At
last, I murdered the witch, the Mind
Who
was the mother of all the above.
I
did not know, she had a brother, the Watcher who witnessed all these.
So,
finally I had to murder him too.
The
Thinker was the eldest son of Mind
and
was brought up by Karma, Memory and Experience.
I
murdered the Thinker because
He
sucked my energy and lived.
He
made me restless, tired of thinking,
He
was nonsense in thinking,
He
was ambitious in thinking,
He
was so clever and so creative in thinking,
So
thought he so and so.
But
he was cunning and lustful.
I
murdered him because
He
was a Monkey who often
jumped
to past and future,
dragged
me to the dead past
and
imaginary future,
stealing
away my lively present.
He
was an invisible magician.
He
had a magical power-
He
became the person or object he thinks.
He
made me act their roles
Gradually,
I lost my self,
I
forgot my real self,
I
who was one became many.
I
murdered him because
He
sowed so many seeds of desire into my heart,
He
made me mad after money,
He
made me mad after power, lust and all sensual pleasures.
I
am just in just murdering the Thinker.
He
kept me in his jail for thousands of births.
I
am a saint. I have miles to go.
I
have to murder him to go ahead.
I
am just in just murdering the Thinker.
The
Speaker is the son of Prana, God of Air.
The
gates of his house were made up of lips.
After
discussion with the Thinker, as fast as possible,
He
often spat out the words of knowledge through these gates.
I
killed him because
In
anger, like volcano, he burst out fire balls of four- letter words,
That
burnt the hearts of many.
I
murdered the Speaker because
he
used the invisible secret passage inside me
and
talked to me privately without the knowledge of others.
he
was talkative during my meditation,
and
irritated me through his nonstop talk.
He
talked to all people whom I met in my past.
He
talked to all people whom I would meet in future.
He
commanded me to do this, to do that.
He
disappeared, I became the accused.
But
he is my best friend.
He
was with me even when I was alone,
even
when everybody left me,
He
was with me even in my dream,
I
murdered him because
He
disturbed my meditation,
He
interrupted me when I wanted silence,
I
murdered him because
He
tempted me like Satan,
He
lied and made me lie on the Everest of Sins.
I
am just in just murdering the Speaker.
I
am a saint. I have to climb up the mountain of Silence.
I
promised not to kill him if he would become dumb during meditation.
He
refused.
So,
I had to murder the Speaker.
I
am just in just murdering the Speaker.
The
twins- Listener and Hearer starved of death
after
the death of Thinker and Speaker.
They
struggled for life
soon
after I banned Sound and Noise from my Inner World.
The
Listener studied in the University of Knowledge
but
scored not more.
The
Hearer, like a good cricketer, caught every ball of sound without fail.
But
his gain was in vain.
I
murdered them because
They
jumped in and stirred my silent heart
into
the Great Waves of Ocean.
They
only made me the knower and the learner
Still
I murdered them because
they
trapped and chained me into the Known.
I
longed to explore and exhaust the unknown
I
murdered them because
they
refused to tell me the whereabouts of the map consciousness.
Rather,
they made me a chatter box inside.
I
am a saint.
I
am to explore, expand and dissolve into eternal space
where
listener and hearer are the forbidden fruits of knowledge.
Hence
I had to murder the Listener and the Hearer.
I
am just in just murdering them.
I murdered
the Seer
because
he did not see the truth.
He
was anxious to see again all whom I had seen in my past
He
was a reckless wanderer roaming along with Memory.
I
murdered him because
He
made me desire whatever he had seen.
He
was seeing the ladies the way he should not see.
My
eyes became tired of working for him.
When
I closed my eyes for meditation,
he
continued to see with the spiritual eye of his mother.
I
am a saint.
I
want to see the unseen without seeing.
I
promised him not to kill if he would remain blind for some time.
He
refused.
So
I am just in just murdering the Seer.
I
murdered the Desirer because
he
was nurturing his father Karma
who
brought me several births
which
brought me several woes.
He
made me desire for thousand and one things,
thus,
to run restlessly in a never ending marathon.
He
cheated me in disguise as a dream, ambition, goal, passion, love and aim.
Why
should I pursue my dream to make it into reality
while
I am naturally surrounded by reality everywhere?
One
goal that may or may not end in joy in future,
steals
away my whole life with its endless joys at present.
I
murdered the Desirer because
He
brought so many worries to his mother Mind,
My
body was also tired of working for his desires.
I
stabbed him first
when
I desired to be desireless but he did not die fully.
He
died only when I gave up that desire too.
I
am a saint.
To
kill the desirer means to me to renounce all.
I
am just in just murdering the desirer.
I
murdered the Doer because
he
is the invisible time traveler within me,
he
dragged me wherever he travelled,
he
flied to so many places in no time,
I
was dog-tired of travelling with him.
I
murdered him because
he
made me waste my time on TV and Mobile.
I
murdered him because
he
arrested me with chains of Habits.
He
made me repeat the same sins again and again,
I
murdered him because
he
dragged me to the Hell of Illusion and Ignorance,
And
made me ever engaged, busy, mechanical,
robotic,
hypnotized, slavish, and insane.
I
am just in just murdering the Doer.
I
am a saint.
NON-DOING
is meditation that is the path to silence.
The
Static State leads to Dynamic State and vice versa – is the law.
I
am just in just murdering the Doer.
I
murdered the Mind
who
was now at sick and bedridden
at
the loss of her children-
Thinker,
Speaker, Listener, Hearer, Seer, Desirer and Doer.
I
murdered her because
she
is the distance between me and God.
She
is the poisonous tree which bore poisonous monsters.
I
advised and counseled.
But
the more I tried to clean her,
the
more she became corrupted –
How
can we clean a dirty place with dirty cloth?
I
murdered her because
she
was hiding the map Consciousness that takes me to the Heaven.
She
was the map and only her death could turn her into the map.
Death
of Mind means Mukthi.
I
am a saint.
I
have to attain Mukthi.
Hence
I am just in just murdering the Mind to give birth to Consciousness.
Space
makes peace within
that was vastly occupied by the monstrous children
of Mind
who
are dead now.
Crowd
and noise that I hate the most
disappeared
now.
The
Watcher who helped me kill Mind and her children
was
also finally murdered by me.
The
Watcher rescued me from the Hell of Illusion.
He
was the Guardian of the map Consciousness.
He
brought me the realizations of truth.
He
gifted me Wisdom,
He
made the sinner the sage.
He
took me to the world of God, Soul and Immortality,
I
murdered him in God’s place,
when
I was tired of watching,
when
I wanted to be silent for ever without being watched by anyone,
when
I finished reading the last word in the book of the Unknown,
When
I wanted just to be, to exist as silently as existence,
The
Time came.
I
had to transcend the world of Wakefulness.
Hence
I murdered the Watcher too.
I
am just in just murdering the Watcher.
*********************
