Poem: The Statement of a Saintly Murderer

Poem: The Statement of a Saintly Murderer.

Poet:  Sujmaki.

 

I am a Murderer.

On my spiritual path,

I murdered several people.

 

First, I murdered the Thinker.

Then, I murdered the Speaker.

Next, I murdered the twins- Listener and Hearer.

Afterwards, I murdered the seer.

Thereafter, I murdered the desirer.

Next, I murdered the Doer.

At last, I murdered the witch, the Mind

Who was the mother of all the above.

I did not know, she had a brother, the Watcher who witnessed all these.

So, finally I had to murder him too.

 

The Thinker was the eldest son of Mind

and was brought up by Karma, Memory and Experience.

I murdered the Thinker because

He sucked my energy and lived.

He made me restless, tired of thinking,

He was nonsense in thinking,

He was ambitious in thinking,

He was so clever and so creative in thinking,

So thought he so and so.

But he was cunning and lustful.

I murdered him because

He was a Monkey who often

jumped to past and future,

dragged me to the dead past

and imaginary future,

stealing away my lively present.

He was an invisible magician.

He had a magical power-

He became the person or object he thinks.

He made me act their roles

Gradually, I lost my self,

I forgot my real self,

I who was one became many.

I murdered him because

He sowed so many seeds of desire into my heart,

He made me mad after money,

He made me mad after power, lust and all sensual pleasures.

I am just in just murdering the Thinker.

He kept me in his jail for thousands of births.

I am a saint. I have miles to go.

I have to murder him to go ahead.

I am just in just murdering the Thinker.

 

The Speaker is the son of Prana, God of Air.

The gates of his house were made up of lips.

After discussion with the Thinker, as fast as possible,

He often spat out the words of knowledge through these gates.

I killed him because

In anger, like volcano, he burst out fire balls of four- letter words,

That burnt the hearts of many.

I murdered the Speaker because

he used the invisible secret passage inside me

and talked to me privately without the knowledge of others.

he was talkative during my meditation,

and irritated me through his nonstop talk.

He talked to all people whom I met in my past.

He talked to all people whom I would meet in future.

He commanded me to do this, to do that.

He disappeared, I became the accused.

But he is my best friend.

He was with me even when I was alone,

even when everybody left me,

He was with me even in my dream,

I murdered him because

He disturbed my meditation,

He interrupted me when I wanted silence,

I murdered him because

He tempted me like Satan,

He lied and made me lie on the Everest of Sins.

I am just in just murdering the Speaker.

I am a saint. I have to climb up the mountain of Silence.

I promised not to kill him if he would become dumb during meditation.

He refused.

So, I had to murder the Speaker.

I am just in just murdering the Speaker.

 

The twins- Listener and Hearer starved of death

after the death of Thinker and Speaker.

They struggled for life

soon after I banned Sound and Noise from my Inner World.

The Listener studied in the University of Knowledge

but scored not more.

The Hearer, like a good cricketer, caught every ball of sound without fail.

But his gain was in vain.

I murdered them because

They jumped in and stirred my silent heart

into the Great Waves of Ocean.

They only made me the knower and the learner

Still I murdered them because

they trapped and chained me into the Known.

I longed to explore and exhaust the unknown

I murdered them because

they refused to tell me the whereabouts of the map consciousness.

Rather, they made me a chatter box inside.

I am a saint.

I am to explore, expand and dissolve into eternal space

where listener and hearer are the forbidden fruits of knowledge.

Hence I had to murder the Listener and the Hearer.

I am just in just murdering them.

 

I murdered the Seer

because he did not see the truth.

He was anxious to see again all whom I had seen in my past

He was a reckless wanderer roaming along with Memory.

I murdered him because

He made me desire whatever he had seen.

He was seeing the ladies the way he should not see.

My eyes became tired of working for him.

When I closed my eyes for meditation,

he continued to see with the spiritual eye of his mother.

I am a saint.

I want to see the unseen without seeing.

I promised him not to kill if he would remain blind for some time.

He refused.

So I am just in just murdering the Seer.

 

I murdered the Desirer because

he was nurturing his father Karma

who brought me several births

which brought me several woes.

He made me desire for thousand and one things,

thus, to run restlessly in a never ending marathon.

He cheated me in disguise as a dream, ambition, goal, passion, love and aim.

Why should I pursue my dream to make it into reality

while I am naturally surrounded by reality everywhere?

One goal that may or may not end in joy in future,

steals away my whole life with its endless joys at present.

I murdered the Desirer because

He brought so many worries to his mother Mind,

My body was also tired of working for his desires.

I stabbed him first

when I desired to be desireless but he did not die fully.

He died only when I gave up that desire too.

I am a saint.

To kill the desirer means to me to renounce all.

I am just in just murdering the desirer.

 

I murdered the Doer because

he is the invisible time traveler within me,

he dragged me wherever he travelled,

he flied to so many places in no time,

I was dog-tired of travelling with him.

I murdered him because

he made me waste my time on TV and Mobile.

I murdered him because

he arrested me with chains of Habits.

He made me repeat the same sins again and again,

I murdered him because

he dragged me to the Hell of Illusion and Ignorance,

And made me ever engaged, busy, mechanical,

robotic, hypnotized, slavish, and insane.

I am just in just murdering the Doer.

I am a saint.

NON-DOING is meditation that is the path to silence.

The Static State leads to Dynamic State and vice versa – is the law.

I am just in just murdering the Doer.

 

I murdered the Mind

who was now at sick and bedridden

at the loss of her children-

Thinker, Speaker, Listener, Hearer, Seer, Desirer and Doer.

I murdered her because

she is the distance between me and God.

She is the poisonous tree which bore poisonous monsters.

I advised and counseled.

But the more I tried to clean her,

the more she became corrupted –

How can we clean a dirty place with dirty cloth?

I murdered her because

she was hiding the map Consciousness that takes me to the Heaven.

She was the map and only her death could turn her into the map.

Death of Mind means Mukthi.

I am a saint.

I have to attain Mukthi.

Hence I am just in just murdering the Mind to give birth to Consciousness.

 

Space makes peace within

 that was vastly occupied by the monstrous children of Mind

who are dead now.

Crowd and noise that I hate the most

disappeared now.

The Watcher who helped me kill Mind and her children

was also finally murdered by me.

The Watcher rescued me from the Hell of Illusion.

He was the Guardian of the map Consciousness.

He brought me the realizations of truth.

He gifted me Wisdom,

He made the sinner the sage.

He took me to the world of God, Soul and Immortality,

I murdered him in God’s place,

when I was tired of watching,

when I wanted to be silent for ever without being watched by anyone,

when I finished reading the last word in the book of the Unknown,

When I wanted just to be, to exist as silently as existence,

The Time came.

I had to transcend the world of Wakefulness.

Hence I murdered the Watcher too.

I am just in just murdering the Watcher.

 

                                                *********************